her vagine was all disorganized.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
