Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
