17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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