ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
