So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
