So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
