GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
