You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
