She is in my trunk
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
