is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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