Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
