I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
