I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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