Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dicks are not precious.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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