never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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