Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
