you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
