I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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