having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
then he tried to convert me to islam
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
