Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
