sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize