2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize