I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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