I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
