remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
