My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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