there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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