Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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