Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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