Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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