how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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