found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
