I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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