I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
