I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
too bad you live with your parents still
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
