I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
