you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
A+ Viking dick
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