If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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