Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
