if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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