So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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