Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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