Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
