Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
