Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you didnt know i had herpes?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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