You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
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Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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