I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet