First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.