Please, let me fuck your mom
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
