Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..