I CAN MOONWALK!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
