Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
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I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
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So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY