I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
