What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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