im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize