I just made out with a guy for $7.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
