if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
