Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
