Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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