Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
