Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
