The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The best revenge is premature balding
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
