U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
