Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
you never un-have a 4some
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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