I seem to have left my pride at pride
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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