My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
