Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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