but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
