i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
