I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
