He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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