You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
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With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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