I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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