i already hear my dad disowning me
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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