I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
