and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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