I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
