dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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