No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
