This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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