im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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